Sick..

fell sick... now permanently attached to a toilet or tissue box.... nose feels like a leaking hose or smth... eyes also pain, cannot concentrate... i know this feeling before... this kind of "sick" feeling... yea, there are other kind of "sick" feeling, but it seems like after i stop falling into those kind of "sick", i'll change to a different kind of "sick"... i suppose this is the bacteria mutation at play... in any case, i think that's how i felt last time when i was sick... dun rmb when was that but that's how it felt... and needless to say it doesn't feel good... haha, i drink so much water that even if not for my nose, i'd still be stuck in the toilet... i wonder if i am even wasting the water... man, if only there is smth that can like go into my body and just cool everything down... right now i can feel my stomach and chest overheating... i'm just trying to keep myself from burning by drinking water... phew... but maybe those herbal tea that my pa ma ask me to drink do help... now i dun feel my stomach heated, just bloated with water lol... pfft... just hope i dun start coughing blood, if not my pa ma may really take me to a clinic, then i'll have to start eating pills... have i ever mention that i hate eating pills? well yea, i hate eating pills. but yea, i have to eat pills when i fall sick, cuz my mom ask me to... so yea, i hate falling sick... of course i hate the part on falling sick, but i don't like the recovery process either... stupid pills... whoever invented pills is my worst enemy...

yea, i just thought i'd update this blog since it's been dusted for so long... then again, i doubt anyone actually reads it... so no matter i guess... i can just choose to update it when i feel like it... i dun actually feel like doing anything now hahah... not even updating this blog also... partly because nobody reads it la~~!! but it's a blog by a stupid teenager-turning-adult watever that's like ur average joe and all, so i guess it's understandable why nobody wanna read it la... right, so why am i updating it if i dun feel like it? because i wanna stay online but i have nothing to do online! hahahah... plain bored... i think i should buy a piano, or a camera... to like, self-entertain... make a kind of photo diary of my looooooong holiday... which i dunno how to make full use of... sigh... typing nonsense while waiting for reply... haha, i think my life is sad la... just finished drinking this jugful of ho yan hor herbal tea... then later still have to eat 3 pills of vitamin C? maybe i should ask my pharmacy friend whether there's any evidence with this vitamin C thingy...

mm? gosh, this sickness is confusing my brain... i cant even rmb things clearly or think things straight... i just took a walk for abit and tadah, i dunno wat i was saying... or maybe i wasn't saying anything that's why... hmm, now's holiday... ya, like the start of my holiday and i fell sick... sad case la... but nothing to do even if i'm not sick also... should i go work there? i may be able to gather support... but it's still rather problematic... cuz i'm lazy... lousy procrastinator... i even self-pity haha... man, how do i improve self-esteem? so much studying, and my life is still the same... just realize that if even one little thing had gone wrong in the past, i wouldn't be here typing all these things, but perhaps just another low-life living mediocre life... un-enlightened, or so they say... of the possibility ahead... the idea of going uni... i always took it for granted, but actually one small step and none of my siblings may be sent to uni... then i wouldn't be able to know alot of things, and see alot of stuff... haha... i always thought whether it's a right choice going to NTU to do psychology... but really, i guess to be able to meet her... it's like a second chance given by god... to right the mistake i made in NJC... or even longer before in the past... to be able to know her... god is pretty kind to me... and now it's up to me, a noobish, self-centered, unconfident nobody to make the move, and see what the future holds for me... yes, now is the time when i will lead my own destiny... i will decide my own fate... today, i stand tall... free from any shackles of disbelief and fear... i will try, before the chance is lost to me again, perhaps forever... i shall not say, "i can't do it", but "i will try"... yes, i shall... this i promise myself. hopefully i will not break my oath... hehe, this feels like a new year revolution that's like 5 months late... oh well... why do i need to wait for new year to make a revolution non? ahh... now for my toilet trip (the 7th time since i started typing this)...