6000/4=1500

why 6000? because that's the amount of words for FYP. then why 1500? because that's the amount of words for 50% of a 3AU-course. Crap. For 8AUs and 1 whole year, they only need to write 6000 words, but for one sem and 1.5AUs, they want me to write 1500 words!? That's just so not proportional.

and the worst part is? i haven't started a single word. 0 down, 1500 to go. Man, am i doomed, or am i doomed? i think this is the SU-effect, the result of me being affirmed that the course can no longer do me any harm, and therefore i slack off with it. however, no matter what, it just still doesn't make sense... yes, the course is screwed up, but if i'm screwed, so would others right? afterall, the test system is on a bell-curve, so as long as i'm less screwed than the other, i'm fine! the only problem is how do i know where am i on the curve, and the fact is i won't know, because for the course, there is only a final exam and this long essay! oh, if you are wondering what course is this, it's kinda like a philosophy course revolving on one phrase: art as a representation of life. with that, we start to look upon various forms of art, to actual paintings, to movies, or stage performances and what not... sigh, i think my main concern now is whether or not to SU this course... and the main reason why i'm wondering, i believe, is because of this other 3AU-course that is equally screwed up, but one i feel others may not be as screwed up as me. decisions, decisions, decisions... sometimes i wonder, what made me took this course? i never thought the university actually offers courses on philosophy... *gasp* OMG!! watever just happened!? is that right, is that right?? LOL, facebook is really an amazing place... i just found out that my sister is engaged! LOL!! that was sudden!! at the same time, hall is very sucky place, every now and then, it kicks me out of facebook, it kicks me out of msn, sigh...

oh right, i think i wanted to write a bunch of craps here as a start for my 1500 words essay... kinda like searching for ideas and stuff... i'm currently supporting this notion that your life is really only 10% yours. Basically, at birth, you have already been determined to be a male or a female, given certain predispositions to be of a certain kind of person, such as being talented in this and not that, or just naturally taller or shorter... more possible to be obese, inheriting various genetic diseases... before you even know who you are, you are already made to be somebody, whether you like it or not. being born into a poor family, or as heir of royalty, life is different no wonder you like it or not. A poor man can never become a royalty, nor can a royalty live like a poor man. Such things are not changeable by effort, or in other words, beyond our control. isn't it interesting that most people from any race or region has religion? or that the word "fate" exists in various languages? Such is the proof that people are not free to be what they want to be in their life. Many would argue that my points are certainly valid, but are too extreme an example to be applied to the general public. Are there not many examples of great men rising from harsh conditions? Such examples of course show that it is possible to change our lives, but it also show just how rare this happens. Indeed, i did not say that we are totally not in control of our lives, but rather, we control only 10% of what we think, say or act. Yes, even the things you think may not be what you want to think, or rather what you think you want to think. To put it simply, I will illustrate this to you. First, think of the future job that you want to be. How do you know if that is what you really want? Are you sure you are not just acting according to what your parents told you to? if you are actually defying your parents, how do you know you are defying because you want to? This can go on, but i believe you get my point. The thing is, the person we believe we are, the choices we believe we made, sometimes are really just a delusion we give ourselves to make us feel in control. Explicitly, alot of people will say that they have done something because of a bunch of reasons other than out of their will, but even if the minority who said that they have acted out of their own free will, subconsciously, the world has already shaped their "free will". This concept is heavily explored in the movie "The Matrix". In the movie, we see Neo being tied to his fate, no matter how hard he tries. It would seem that he is acting out of his own choice, but if that is the case, then how is it that the Oracle can predict what would happen? Throughout the trilogy, the idea of choice is explored recurrently, such as when Neo was offered candy by the Oracle, he asked if he still has a choice of taking the candy or not if she has already know whether or not he is going to take it. The reply was, we are not here to make a choice, we have already made our choice, what is left is to understand it. From my point of view, what it is saying is that we have no choice, because whatever choices we made, we made it because... you know what, i think i shall stop here. lol, getting abit long...

Last day of February

... and second day of recess! but sadly, recess isn't really something to be happy about, since the tutors usually like to schedule things for us to do DURING recess... geez, they obviously do not think recess is for us to rest... as a personal reminder, i have these things to do: 1 tutorial assignment, 1 summary assignment, 1 long philosophy essay, study for 3 mid-term quizzes, 2 projects to research on... ok, that should be all for this recess. well, of course, that does not include personal time, like the games that i want to play, the manga that i wanna read, the outcast "annoying orange" that has to be terminated for tainting the good name of oranges, the friends to catch up, the sleep to be slept, the life to be lived... yea, you get the point.

feeling very emo today, maybe because i think too much... i think, therefore i am SLOW. yea, i know the famous line does not have that word, but seriously, for every second i think, i lose a second acting. yes, of course it is usually good to have a plan, think things through, foresee any possible problems, come up with backup plans etc etc, but really, if everything just goes on in your head, who would know? great men are those who act upon their dreams, not just thinking about it only. i have missed my chances too many times, i vow not to miss the next one. don't feel like writing anymore, i'll just end here.

School!

School has... well, started. However, currently, it is yet the school that is bugging me down with work, but rather the clubs and stuff... first we have the MSA FOC 2010... for some unknown reason, they want everything settled, like, now... goodness, foc is not in 7 months time!! Cut me some slack dude! These people either have nothing better to do, or they just prepare waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy too much buffer time. Oh well, let's just hope they won't continue to harrass me when school work really sets in.

Next, is Gaming Night. WTH Man, i feel so unappreciated lor... it's like, these people think it's so freaking simple to organize it just because we've done it alot of times... but HELLO! I've been doing alot of work here~ u hear me?? zzz... these thoughtless fools have sincere lack in planning skills... argh... if we can't reach the quota, then we are going to lose money, big time! 33 down, 77 more to go!! Come on! Hopefully one bunch of NTU students sign up for it... then we can cut down that number real fast... 2x faster, man... lol, sometimes i get really confused, is this gaming night for the members, or is it for everyone?? *Sigh* this is the part that is wrong perhaps... one event, one purpose... but gaming night has like two! So of course it could achieve none! Oh well... all the business stuff comes flooding my mind... i'm thinking, maybe we should just outsource our management committee to other ppl...

As for school, well, what's worth mentioning is not what has gone behind me, but what lies before me... i can foresee very heavy readings required this semester... I guess i should be glad i didn't take 4 cores... if not, i can really say bye bye to 1st class... probability will drop too much to make it even worth it... though perhaps if i really want to be rational, objective, and logical, i should try and numerize all these things, so as to obtain the best course of action for my future... but to heck with that, let's just be me, let's just be human... ah right, there is something that happened... she is not going for exchange afterall... haha, all the work put in goes to naught... have some mixed feelings about it... on the one hand, it would probably be cool to go on exchange, but on the other, reality strikes a deep chord in my heart... i dunno, maybe i am glad... or maybe i am not... but there's no telling if it happened for better or for worse, so i will just go with the flow... maybe i am glad.

I'm losing control...

haha... don't worry, this is not one of those emo posts, just feel like i need a place to keep me sane for awhile... let's see, had a "class outing" today, which turned out not v ideally.. well, let's just say not many came, haha... so, all plans cancelled, and we went The Mussel Guys for lunch, and split after that... lol, so much for a long overdue class outing... had mussel napolitana there, quite nice... though kinda expensive... it's freaking 15.90 exc 17% tax! so yea, not exactly the best deal around town i guess... but oh well, you go a place called THE Mussel Guys, and order what, sirloin steak? haha, don't think so lar...

yeah, after the shortlived class outing, afew of us stayed behind, walked around vivo for abit, and met afew ppl i know... though i didn't really say hi =P yea well, but that's just me... oh, then we went cineleisure to watch The Morgans... yea, the show is ok... but quite predictable... nothing special, unique to the show... it's just the same old same old... all in all, i'd say it's a movie for couples to go watch, which inadvertly leads me to the question: then why am i watching it with another guy and a girl?? lol, i felt so light bulb-ish... and this brings me to the core of this post, which i can't stop thinking about, and it's really driving me nuts. gosh, i wish i know what to do now... let me try and divert my attention... to this new stomach vibrator that my roommate has recently procured... oh wait, could it be that uKimono thingy?? LOL, that'd be quite funny... but yea, he uses it every night, i wonder to what avail... but ah well, he is kinda fat i guess, though i doubt that thingy will help him much, then again, who am i to give opinion on losing weight, hehe... oh, and before the movie started, they played the song "I got a feeling" the Chipmunks version, originally by Black-eyed Peas... and now the song is stucked in my head... those high-pitched tones... can't get it out... just like i can't get the other obsession of mine out... argh, man... maybe i should just get it all out once and for all, clear things up, and get it done with... but if u know me, u know that ain't going to happen. sigh...

Happy 2010!

Tadah! First post in a new place! In the spirit of new year, I will have a new beginning for my blog!

Blah, and it's another year! The year 2009 has been interesting, with me trying out some new activities and stuff... though there are also those plain old boring stuff like mugging, as usual... but i think i can say that i have grown from this year, learning a few things here and there... can't really name any though, haha... but hey, experience is something integrated, no? i'm sure i have change (hopefully for the better) since a year ago... which sadly, i dun remember what was i doing... hmm...

Since i'm not a resolution kind of person, i won't make any... but i'll do this much: try. yup, to try and do something for a change. this year may be full of possibilities, but i'll have to try to harvest it, or it will all be gone. So yup, try, and maybe you'll end up better than before.

So, again, here's wishing all a happy and joyous new year!