like a kid magnified..

.. is what my mom sometimes says about me. or was it my sister? can't remember.. but ya, basically referring to my physical body being a magnified version of my younger self (i think they are trying to say i have baby face? not entirely sure).. i know they are mostly joking, but recently i feel that it is very true, not in the literal sense, but like a young mind transplanted to an adult body..

in a few months' time, i'll reach 21, a legally adult age, responsible for all my own actions, free to do my own things, and basically, by all definition (if not most definitions?), an adult. yet, seriously, i am not ready. i don't know why, but i don't want to act like an adult. perhaps i'm just afraid of shouldering responsibilities, or perhaps i never had much responsibilities to shoulder in the first place that when something so big comes along, i can't handle.

i still remember, back in sec school, life was very simple.. i go to school during the weekdays, and i get to play games during the weekends so long as i keep up with my work.. it's a sort of reinforcement for me, reward for studying, which then diminishes any actual internal incentives to study.. much like how i am now. chocolate chip cookies, milk and koko krunch, these are all indulgences i never felt able to satisfy fully when i was young.. maybe i just need to catch up on all the things i missed as a child, and i'll be ready to be an adult.

what if i don't get a room by August?

sigh... dunno why i didn't apply with a singaporean... perhaps i've grown a little too fond of taking risks, and played with something too important this time... argh, since when did i stop making plans and back-up plans? now my stuff's pretty much a mess... dunno if my bucket survived, or not... most likely not, since now i pretty much cannot reach the guy... crap, totally my fault as well... and the many little things gone wrong, too many things left undone, unsaid... sigh... just wish i will get a room in the next round in august...

Banjir!

which means flood in english... and that was exactly what i faced just now... lol, it rained for like the whole afternoon today, and by evening, the whole neighbourhood was like under water! quite literally! i mean, even the drains are flooded, and those are not those small longkang by the road u know, it's like huge drain!! those big sewers kind... and the flood is so bad, it flooded the whole street! it's like, really bad! man, words cannot describe it at all! that's why u see i'm like repeating myself over and over again, lol... like the same point just keep saying... maybe it's cuz the fever made my brain haywire as well... anyway, to give a more concrete picture, it's like, the whole road is covered by muddy water, and that's because the huge sewer beside it (like those kind u see in NTU between Hall 8, 9 and Nanyang Heights those kind...) is totally flooded until street level! that's like 2meters at least! and that's like happening everywhere... all the streets are like affected... ok, not all... but the important ones are!! because my garden only has one small road for entrance and exit, and then it connects to this almighty-lead-to-everywhere crossroad... and that crossroad is flooded!! so basically a 3-lane road became 1-lane only, and all the cars are like moving like snails... like large snails... ah watever, basically very very slow larh... then come the really ermm... exciting? heart-stopping? moment... we went on the wrong side of the road!! goodness... really scary sia hahahah... seeing the cars coming straight at you is not fun at all... alot of times it feels like really going to crash liao hahaha... glad to be alive... but if my pop didn't do that, then we'd still be among the large snail line, moving lazily along the endless long road... pfft... either way, not fun... tho the faster method was more exciting i guess... man, but really, one day of rain and my neighbourhood became like that... can't imagine what would happen if it rains again tmr? =x